Jaymz Bee The Royal Jelly Orchestra - A Christmas Cocktail

I had a request for the Ridiculous Trio Plays the Stooges album, but I can't find a couple of songs: "Scene Of The Crime/Death Trip" and "We Will Fall." Anyone, anyone? Thanks!

I bring you glad tidings of an improved bitrate version of that most glorious bit of irritainment, "All Your Christmases," thanks to Adrian of Satan's Little Helper who personally sent it our way,
And now our musical sleigh ride moves on to the snazzy sounds of Jaymz Bee & The Royal Jelly Orchestra.

 

We've posted several albums by this most entertaining Canadian lounge parodist, and if you've been diggin' them, then you'll want to throw back this potent potable, what with it's finger-snappin' Rat Pack-ready versions of "Rudolph" and "Jingle Bells," bossa nova versions of "The Christmas Song" and "Let It Snow," the Andrews Sisters-like close harmony vox of The Beehive Singers, a '70s action theme wah-wah guitar "Sleigh Ride," and the Esquivel-esque "White Christmas", complete with Latin percussion and "zoo-zoo-POW!" vocals. There's a few original songs here as well, inc. the smooth title track, and one called "Space Age Santa" that you can add to the collection. 

UPDATE: 
Track 1 somehow got left out of the original folder. The above zippyshare link now includes it, and here's the divshare link of just "Jingle Bells" for those of you who already dl-ed the album
1. Jingle Bells
2. Rudolph The Red Nosed Raindeer
3. It's Christmas Time (Oh Yeah)
4. Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!
5. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
6. White Christmas
7. Winter Wonderland
8. The Christmas Song
9. Christmas Cocktail
10. Sleigh Ride
11. Space Age Santa
12. Carol Of The Bells
13. The Little Drummer Boy

Old Friends in the Zither Sound

Yeah, yeah, I know: everybody plays air-zither along with their favorite 'zither heroes,' they even play the Zither Hero video game, the zither-bass-drum lineup has been the standard for decades, and yet here we are again, posting another zither album.  We're so damn trendy. I apologize, because I realize that our culture's obsessions with the zither has made so many other stringed instruments unfairly obscure. Perhaps other instruments have potential, but no-one knows because they're considered uncool? Like the "guitar," a six-stringed instrument of Spanish origin, whose strings are strummed or plucked by hand. Since it's held in the hands instead laid out on a table like a zither, it's sure to draw guffaws from the too-hip. Who knows, maybe in some bizarro-world alternate universe, it's the guitar that's the most popular. Nevertheless, this album of fun, peppy, all-instrumental Euro-cheese is another example of why all peoples of the world hail the zither as the King of All Instruments. Zesty percussion, accordion, sleazy electric organ and cool vibraphones add to the belated Oktoberfest (Decemberfest?) festivities.

Peter Schwarz - "Alte Bekannte im Zither-Klang"

A1 Ramona
A2 Down By the Riverside - the familiar hand-clappin' American gospel song
A3 Schöner Gigolo - hey, it's that Louis Prima song, "Just A Gigolo"
A4 Tanze mit mir in den Morgen - love this Latin-a-gogo groover
A5 Bye Bye Blues - one of my fave ol' Tin Pan Alley standards
A6 Estrellita
A7 Wochenend und Sonnenschein
B1 Winke winke
B2 In einer Nacht im Mai
B3 La Paloma
B4 Kann denn Liebe Sünde sein
B5 Das machen nur die Beine von Dolores - Great hotel lounge psuedo-calypso
B6 Das alte Spinnrad
B7 Du schwarzer Zigeuner
B8 Good Night, Ladies

Danke to herr Gene M!

 

DISCO SELLOUT!

By the late 1970s, the memo had come down from the music biz execs: make a disco record. Everyone, and we mean EVERYONE is hereby ordered to march into the studio and sing over anonymous lush orchestras, wah-wah guitars, congas, and female backing singers.  Yes, even you, Ol' Blue Eyes.  It's hot, it's commercial, you have no choice. 

And so we have here an assortment of some of the biggest names in music pounding their well-established square peg styles into the round hole of disco. Faded stars like Frankie Avalon, Petula Clark and Teresa Brewer remade their old hits inna disco stylee. EZ listening acts like Percy Faith, Andy Williams and Johnny Mathis figured this would be a way to squeeze onto rock-dominated charts. Leftover hippies like Country Joe McDonald and The Byrds cut new songs designed to get them back into the good graces of their old Baby Boomer audience, now living a coke-filled life of affluence. I suspect that some, like Ringo Starr, simply had nothing better to do. Toot toot, beep beep, ka-ching!

One of the great musical mysteries of my life is why I find old forgotten disco cheese so entertaining.  I never really liked disco in the first place, and I still couldn't care less about most of the big hits, e.g.: the Bee Gees, KC and the Sunshine Band, etc. But the hilarity of hearing utterly inappropriate material subjected to the disco treatment, the surrealism of the likes of Sinatra or The Beach Boys on the dance floor, the aura of pre-AIDS decadence, some genuinely impressive arrangements and powerful performances (Andy Williams kills it here), and yes, those exuberant rhythms all add up to tacky kitsch taken to almost Liberace-like levels. Plus, we have not had these songs pounded into our brains over the years/decades a la the "Saturday Night Fever" soundtrack.

DISCO SELLOUT

If for no other reason, download this for the incredible Country Joe McDonald song. Granted, he never struck me as being the most talented sort, but this song is the very definition of "wrongheaded."

Thanks to MadJon! He's the madman who gave us the worst of Sinatra collection.

In case you missed it: more disco sickness.  (I did two other thrift-store disco comps, but they got knocked off-line.)

Ahh...Outsider Music...

The George King/Joe Corney Space-Age Organ Sounds are back on-line.

The first thing many Americans think when they hear the phrase "folk music" is still the Joan Baez/Dylan types listlessly strumming acoustic guitars and singing protest songs in coffeehouses, none of which has much to do with actual American folk traditions. The excellent new compilation Turn Me Loose: Outsiders of Old-Time Music
features not only the weird 'n' wild obscurities you maniacs crave, but it also serves as a nice corrective to the '50s/'60s folk revival's rewriting of history. For one thing, acoustic guitars were not too common (almost no songs on this album feature them), banjos were originally a black instrument (derived from African instruments), silly humor was much more common then protest politics (e.g.: the wacked-out duo Mustard and Gravy), and plenty of "non-folk" instruments like the piano really were used in folk music, Charlie Tweedy's berserk stylings on the ivories being one of this albums' many highlights (which reminds me of Tom Lehrer's crack introducing his song "The Folk Song Army": since the piano isn't considered a folk instrument "imagine I'm playing an 88-string guitar.") Ernest Rodgers' Greek lesson "Mythological Blues" punctures holes in the notion that these were all dumb, uneducated hicks.

Most of these recordings, taken from old '78s, are by fairly professional if necessarily rough 'n' raw performers, but at least one character here, Willard Hodgin, is just flat-out nuts. To quote from compiler Frank Fairfield's extensive liner notes: "He recorded 18 sides (1927-1928) for various labels, which is quite an outstanding feat considering how unusual a performer he was. The combination of the occasional verse speckled in with his own unusual yet charming stanzas and his delirious haphazard banjo strumming make him one of the most unique performers to ever record." 18 songs?  Someone put out a complete Willard Hodgin album! (Clicky on song titles to take you to Divshare-land:)

Willard Hodgin: "Don't Get One Woman on Your Mind" Now with bonus offensive racist lyrics! 
But don't musical saws make everything better? Dig this barn dance earworm:
South Georgia Highballers: "Mister Johnson Turn Me Aloose"

Another great new comp recently purchased at my local record emporiums is "Enjoy The Experience: Homemade Records 1958-1992," a two-disc set plus 44 page booklet, all for only $15. Explore the wonderful world of private-press records! I was amused to see that the booklet featured reproductions of the covers of a couple albums I own, namely Mike Hudson and Wayne & Marin Foster. No tracks from them featured on this, but I included them on my own collection "I'll Take Las Vegas." This album goes way beyond Vegas-y lounge performers, tho, ranging from the already sorta-well known punk jazz of Gary Wilson and the middle-aged former Big Band singer-turned-hippie Arcesia, to such unknowns as the hip Christian behind this absurdly catchy upbeat bit of apocalyptic pop:

Ray Torsky: "666"

The booklet includes interviews with some of the performers the compilers were actually able to track down. The heartbreaking tale of Joe E.'s swindle at the hands of a fly-by-night record label is particularly memorable. Unfortunately nothing is known about one Vinny Roma, but he recorded what could be this blog's theme song.  Hell, it could be my (or your) life's theme song:

Vinny Roma: "Ahh...Music"

And if that's still not enough outsider music for you, Colchester, England's premier mental patient/transvestite/stoner/coprophiliac singer-songwriter has a new album out called
"Hippie Heaven" 
for your free downloading pleasure. It's like a 12" single more than an album, with the same songs appearing in slightly different forms throughout. Highlights inc the biting "Parasite Pest," and "Rock 'n' Roll Brothel" ("Why won't any of the girls have sex with me? It's quite frustrating...I could get a complex!") The backing track of "Lady Dub #1" could be by Martin Rev. And paging Yoko Ono! The final track is a 20 min field recording of wind.



   

Tony "The Cool Casanova" Fabbri

There is almost no info on Tony Fabbri on the 'net, but all you need to know is that this is seriously some primo outsider awesomeness. His thick accent of undetermined origin, his unique songwriting ("Gong, Gong, Gong" is an ode to the schlocky '70s tv program "The Gong Show"), his vocal delivery that makes up in enthusiasm what it lacks in traditional notions of pitch, the way he acts out the songs in his videos (even the song about the 9/11 attacks on New York!) - it's all just so great. I love this guy. 

Yes, I know that once again I'm opening myself up to more accusations that we're just some "hipsters" (heh) ironically smirking at some pathetic no-talent old guy, but I sincerely think that there's something heroic about a man with virtually no chance to "make it" in the music biz writing songs and performing with the gusto of someone a third his age. It's not just "bad." Journey is bad. The Eagles are bad. And there's nothing entertaining about them. Anthony Fabbri is an inspiration, and if you think I'm being sarcastic, download these tunes, and watch the mind-boggling public access show presented below. Of course you may laugh at times, but I predict that you'll be fascinated by the man's unique vision, and will end up rooting him on (waves hand in the air "Go, Tony!  Go, Tony!")

These four songs were sent to me by The International Voice of Reason, whose crazed Friday morning show on KXLU radio is required listening for all Maniacs. IVOR has no idea where he got these (perhaps Tony sent them to the station?) When we went on-line to see if we could find more info about our favorite new singing discovery, all we found were these videos, a public access show from parts unknown. The songs were wonderful, e.g.: his attempt at a West Coast "New York New York" and the go-go rockin' "Her Phone Number", but the videos take it all to a whole other level. One minute he's singing about how great it is that the Berlin Wall has fallen, the next he's changed from a suit into a Hawaiian shirt, brandishing a golf club, telling all the ladies that he's a "cool Casanova." The videos were put up 5 years ago but still have only 100 views. That's just not right. 

Tony Fabbri

1. Beautiful Los Angeles
2.  Her Phone Number (on the wall)
3. The Phone Booth
4. Gong, Gong, Gong

part 1, intro, "God Bless New York":

part 2, "Splendid Lady," "Everybody Needs Love":

part 3, "the Berlin Wall," "Beautiful Los Angeles" (different version from the mp3), "Tony The Cool Casanova":  

part 4, "Her Phone Number (on the wall)", contact info (anyone want to call him and see if he still has the same phone number?)

part 5, "Baby Bright Eyes":

and finally part 6, the hand-clappin' gospel rouser "Somebody Took My Hand":

FRANK SINATRA'S GREATEST SHITS

I love Frank Sinatra's music, got tons of his records. But anyone with a career spanning six decades has got to drop a few turds along the way, and even The Chairman of The Board is no exception. And that is what we are presenting here today: 15 examples of the worst, from the greatest.

There's the good-bad Frank, which is fun, e.g. finger-snappin' his way thru unlikely/inappropriate songs like Stevie Wonder's "You Are The Sunshine of My Life" (a staple of my Vegas road trips) or his hep-cat spin on Simon and Garfunkel; his groovy mod duets with daughter Nancy (sample lyric: "I'm lookin' out love-colored windows"); or when his take on "Mack The Knife" becomes a self-conscious history lesson on that oft-recorded classic.

And then there's bad-bad Frank. "Mama Will Bark," a duet with the now-forgotten Dagmar, a performer more known for her curvaceous figure than her singing ability, has been called the worst thing Frank recorded, and I would not argue. Literally, a dog of a record. Nothing else here is quite as cringe-worthy, but the unreleased (for good reason) disco version of "All or Nothing At All," or the appalling duet with that ghastly creature Bono come pretty damn close.  Yes, sometimes you can judge a book by it's cover: "Everybody's Twistin'" sounds exactly like you think it would. And has there ever been a good version of "Winchester Cathedral"?

This collection eases you in: at first, there doesn't appear to be anything particularly wrong with this version of "Some Enchanted Evening." The "South Pacific" standard should be a slam-dunk, right?  But it gradually becomes clear that Frank has no feel for the song whatsoever, as he's been hobbled by a terrible arrangement, and it just goes completely off the rails. Surprising that this one got out of the can. (Although I guess you could say that for most of these tracks.)

This collection come to us thru our regular contributor windy via his pal, another mad-dog record collector named MadJon, who conceived, compiled, and created the cover artwork (above) for this festering concoction. Thank (or blame) them! Jon's notes for each song below.


Frank Sinatra - "Come Suck With Me"

01some enchanted evening
02Everybodys' twistin
03 i whistle a happy tune
04mama will bark
05all or nothing at all (disco)
06winchester cathedral
07mrs robinson
08 feelin kinda sunday (w/nancy)
09 life's a trippy thing (w/nancy)
10 you are the sunshine of my life
11bad bad leroy brown
12ive got you under my skin (w/Bono)
13mack the knife (w/Quincy Jones; vibes: Lionel Hampton)
14the 12 days of christmas (w/Nancy, Frank Jr, and the rarely-heard Tina Sinatra)
15 my way

Some Enchanted Evening: The Richard Rodgers estate was very strict about licensing its songs for recording. Altho' Sinatra had recorded this tune in the past, on Columbia in 1949, they gave him a difficult time about it two decades later. Personal? Who knows, but when Sinatra finally got the rights, he made it personal and recorded this ridiculous, horrible version as revenge.

Everybody's Twistin': Sinatra craved hits as much as anyone and would lower his famous standards when required. Here, he takes an old song by Fats Waller called "Everybody's Truckin'." changes the title and imagines he has a twist hit. He didn't. In America it only went to #75.

Mama Will Bark: It's too easy to say that Mitch Miller forced Sinatra to record this. Imagine ANYONE telling Frank what to do! Sinatra puts his all into this record, and seems to be enjoying himself. The flip was the tragically beautiful "I'm A Fool To Want You" which he co-wrote. Both sides did well on the charts. It remains awful only because it's incomprehensible that he would have gone along with it.

All Or Nothing At All: Before the huge success of his Trilogy album, Sinatra was lost in the 70's, with the label he founded only releasing several singles between 1974 and 1980. Clearly desperate, Sinatra re-recorded two old hits of his as disco records in 1977, this and "Night And Day," but "All Or Nothing At All" was so awful it remained unreleased until the Complete Reprise box set in 1995.

Winchester Cathedral: Enjoying a surprise return to the Top 10 charts in the mid-60's, Sinatra decided that every other album would be "for the kids." Like the kids were waiting for this.

Mrs. Robinson: Reportedly, Paul Simon hated what Frank did with his song, as should we all.

Feelin' Kinda Sunday and Life's A Trippy Thing: Juvenile hippy crap. Worst, who could even imagine the word "trippy" appearing in a Sinatra title?

You Are the Sunshine Of My Life and Bad, Bad Leroy Brown: Both from the album Some Nice Things I've Missed (1974), it's another one "for the kids!" The latter song being a #1 hit in 1972, Reprise thought the kids would like Frank's version as a single two years later. It (#83), like the album (#48), did poorly, and so began Frank's lost decade.

I've Got You Under My Skin (duet with Bono): Inexplicably, the public made Sinatra's first Duets album a smash hit, even if it never sounded like Frank was ever in the same studio with his guests, as is most evident here. Frank sounds flat, while Bono's vocal is produced with his trademark ethereal sound. When their vocals are mixed together, their phrasing doesn't match.

Mack the Knife: Sinatra's last album, L.A. Is My Lady, produced by Quincy Jones, is almost entirely awful throughout. Here, Sinatra can't resist changing the lyrics as he salutes the members of the orchestra.

The Twelve Days of Christmas: Featuring his three children (only one of whom ever achieved success on her own) the repetition of the all-too-cute, terribly unfunny jokes quickly becomes horribly obnoxious. It is the one track on this compilation that I cannot bear listening to.

My Way: It would be easier to take if recorded by a better man with a lesser voice, but here Sinatra celebrates a life of bullying abuse which the public is well aware of. Additionally, it is ironic that at his own label, Sinatra cared less about the engineering of his records; on the line "For what is a man?" there is an over-saturation of the vocal on the tape, creating horrible distortion that technology can never fix.

I threw this collection together quickly one day, being too lazy to look for more, but I know more stinkers are out there, and perhaps in the future there will be a Volume Two.

WHY YOU SHOULD CARE ABOUT ANNETTE FUNICELLO

You may have heard that The Queen of the Beach, Annette Funicello, recently died at age 70. And, yes, she was a Mouseketeer on "the Mickey Mouse Club" tv series, and starred in the 'beach party' films of the Sixties. But what you gremmies and hodads must dig is that she ticks off a lot of strange-music boxes: exotica; Space Age; novelty music; funny/dumb/clever lyrics; bizarre musical hybrids (e.g.the Cuban/Hawaiian "Surfers' Luau," "Rock-a-Polka,") wild, highly energetic surf/early rock; lounge cheese; explorations of sleazy/kitschy Americana; collaborations with hipster faves like Dick Dale, Fishbone, and the Beach Boys; and songs about circus freaks and mad scientists. And, tho she was most certainly a Big Show-Biz insider, she did everything with the guileless innocence of an outsider - since Annette never intended to be a singer (Walt Disney just pushed her in that direction) she had no agenda, no aspirations, no bitterness about the roles she was offered, and so sang everything with an equal amount of sincerity, whether it was a forlorn love song, or a ridiculous tale about a freak named Jo-Jo The Dog-Faced Boy.

Why haven't punk bands been covering these songs?! She seems to have been overlooked among Crampsian devotees of early mondo-rock collections like "Las Vegas Grind" and  "Wavy Gravy." Maybe because the rap on Annette was that she was another not-too-talented 'teen idol' making bland commercial pap, like Connie Francis, Fabian, and her co-star Frankie Avalon. But even a cursory listen to these songs shoots down that characterization. The berserk energy level and general weirdness of these songs clearly distinguishes her from the likes of, say, Shelly Fabares.

All these songs are from her late '50s-to-mid '60s heyday, except for the last two tracks: her 1985 appearance with Fishbone from the film "Back To The Beach" (I saw it when it came out!) and an early '80s tribute to Annette from LA pop-punk stalwarts Redd Kross. And it was indeed my LA punk youth that first got me into Annette, where she was a kind of den mother figure - never a part of, but beloved by the local surf punks. I still listen to these crazily entertaining songs after all these decades, and I certainly can't say that about everything from my youth. 

A Net Full Of Jello [Thanks to an old Mad Magazine bit for the title]

01 swingin' and surfin'
02 surfin' luau
03 the maid and the martian
04 secret surfin' spot
05 Jo-Jo the Dog-Faced Boy
06 monkey's uncle (with The Beach Boys)
07 California sun
08 draggin' u.s.a.
09 beach party
10 That Crazy Place In Outer Space
11 Merlin Jones
12 Don't Stop Now
13 Rock-a-Polka
14 The Rock-a-Cha
15 Lonely Guitar
16 Tall Paul
17 Pineapple Princess
18 Jamaica Ska (with Fishbone)
BONUS:
Redd Kross - Annette's Got The Hits

I'm Pretty Sure This Blog Posts More Zither Music Than Most...

Gene M., one of our super-swell readers who contributed the lost files of Ruth Welcome's "Zither Magic" album recently, has gifted us with another album called "Zither Magic" that couldn't be more different. In contrast to Welcome's minimal one-(wo)man-band arrangements, old-world folkiness and classy '50s cocktail lounge feel, Karl Swoboda's "Zither Magic" is a big, brassy, fully orchestrated, swingin' Sixties album that reduces the role of the zither to a kind of almost surf-y lead guitar over twist/swim/frug-able versions of hit pop songs.


Don't dread yet another version of "Yesterday" - this one swings like a rusty gate, dad, played at a breakneck tempo that Mr. McCartney probably never envisioned. "Theme From A Summer Place" could be a Dean Martin backing track. A beautifully dreamy "Ebb Tide" takes a break from the craziness to take us on a stroll down a lonely beach. "The In-Crowd" is wild enough to get Twiggy workin' that mini-skirt. Outta sight!

Karl Swoboda - "Zither Magic"

Thanks Gene!

Lynn Rockwell - One Man Band

Over the cheapest possible drum machine, Mr. Lynn Rockwell, from parts unknown, plays and sings everything on this private press wonder from 1970.  An instro version of the James Brown classic "Night Train" kicks things off with plenty of swingin' horns, followed by the sweet clarinet blowing of "Blue Prelude," which also introduces Lynn's somewhat homely but lovable vocals. Wilbert Harrison's proto-rocker "Kansas City" is remade as a finger-snappin' jazzy lounge tune. Roller-rink organ joins the fun on such songs as "String of Pearls," originally by Glen Miller's big band, now rendered here by a very, very little band. And dig that hipster jive on "Satin Doll"!

Side two's first four songs are originals by Rockwell, highlighted by the bizarre "Spiders": "I got spiders in my bathrobe, baby/there's no escape for you." Suddenly we're in a dark, remote cocktail lounge somewhere in David Lynch territory. I'm really liking the moody clarinet work on this album. Closing out the album are remakes of the country standard "Oh Lonesome Me" and Engelbert Humperdinck's "Release Me," tho I don't recall Engelbert's version having horns that wander from channel to channel for no apparent reason.

This album comes to us courtesy of Jaouad, our only known Moroccan reader.  Where my North African peeps at?!

Lynn Rockwell - One Man Band


Much thanks to Jaouad.
 

HI-FI ZITHER!

"Zombie Jamboree" has been re-upped, by request. And speaking of requests: I hate to keep asking, but does anyone have the Ruth Welcome "Zither Magic" album I posted here a few years ago? Frequent contributor windy sent me another of her albums, and my review for "Zither Magic" can pretty much be repeated here: 

"Did you know that it was once possible to be a pop star without having to play the guitar? Or with electronic production? You could get a major label deal by playing, say, a zither. Exhibit A: Ruth Welcome, whose 1950s zither albums for Capital Records display remarkable virtuosity...there are no other instruments. She's a one-(wo)man band.

On this album, the bended notes suggest Hawaiian guitars or exotica without actually being exotica or Hawaiian music. But there is a foreign, if not other-worldly feel to these instros."

This was her first album, and it reflects her then-current status as a hotel lounge performer, essentially making background music.  Not as dynamic as "Zither Magic," but it's still quite lovely, boasting some ace tunes (always liked "Moulin Rouge"), and, in any case, it's an entire album of zither music. A hi-fi zither album, at that. And when was the last time you listened to one of those, eh, eh?! 

Ruth Welcome "HI-FI ZITHER!"


(Thanks to the zither-iffic windy!)

Hail, Vic Caesar!

I posted this Friday, it got 22 views...and disappeared.  I hope to hell it was just some technical glitch...

Now I have to remember what I wrote a few days ago. Umm...I can't.  (Start over.)

Basically, this is one of the best lounge albums I've ever heard, and I've heard plenty. The man sings songs you thought you never liked (e.g.: "Born Free") with over-the-top gusto and finger-poppin' cool, he tackles both the usual suspects and such utterly unlikely choices as "Lucy in The Sky With Diamonds" (?!) and, as this interview proves, is as larger-than-life as his music.  The voice!  The enthusiasm!  The swingin' big band! Everything you want in a lounge record. And Dick Van Dyke wrote the liner notes.

"Vic Caesar Sings"

The Mighty Accordion Band - They Said It Couldnt Be Done!

Apart from having one of the all-time great album covers (pretty obvious why I snatched this one up for a mere 99 cents at my local charity thrifty emporium), The Mighty Accordion Band 's "They Said It Couldn't Be Done!" is an excellent listen. 20 - count 'em - TWENTY squeeze-boxes playing together creates a unique symphonic sound that ranges from exotica (the Les Baxter soundalike "Jungle Fever") to finger-snappin' jazz, dreamy ballads (great version of "tenderly") and swingin' big band. Pretty much everything but polka. I especially like the bizarre cha-cha version of "Swanee River." Perhaps their taking a corny old tune that no-one was playing anymore and giving it a hip new Latin spin was equivalent to all those New Wave covers of classic rock songs I posted a while back, e.g.: Devo's dismantling of the Stones' "Satisfaction."  Did The Mighty Accordion Band record the first ironic cover?!

Dominic Frontiere is credited as the mad genius behind this project. Hey, I know him! He became a top film soundtrack composer, his "Hang 'Em High" theme being one of the best Spaghetti Western themes.  

The Mighty Accordion Band - They Said It Couldnt Be Done!

BROWN-SKINNED MORMONS A-GO-GO!!

Lamanites? Is that what your kitchen counter is made of?  No, silly, Lamanites are the original inhabitants of North America, according to the Book of Mormon, and since Mexicans and Polynesians are brown people like the Indians, they must all be related!  Let's thrown them into the same category, make 'em wear Indian costumes, and sing cheery, cheezy, '70s variety show-type music! So someone thought at Utah's Brigham Young University, from whence this group comes.

Lots of fun stuff on this album that Our Man in Salt Lake City, windy, sent our way.  Just don't expect much in the way of ethnic authenticity. The low-budget lounge combo's instrumental backing and the singer's enthusiastic performances can get absurdly entertaining. I mean, check out the cat in the headdress to the left. That's gotta be the crooner swingin' his way thru "Navajo Baby." "The Mountains Cry Out," believe it or not, is practically surf music. And a song with a title like "The Big Mouth Frog" has got to be good, right? Right. Oddly, there's almost no overt religious content. Maybe they were hoping for a mainstream crossover a la The Osmonds.

 The Lamanite Generation

(Bless you, windy!)

The FLYING DUTCHMAN - ONE-MAN BAND SHOW

How's THAT for an album cover? 

I think you can see why I picked up this private-press piece of vintage vinyl recently - it truly is a slice of authentic Americana, a peek into un-hip rural backroads (in this case, Pennsylvania Dutch country) where Ma & Pa go out on a Saturday night to the local tavern and dance to the kind of music left out of the history books, played by the sort of performer usually considered to be not worthy of critical consideration.

Recorded live, Mr. Dutchman is  clearly having a good ol' time, chatting with the crowd,  letting loose with whoops and yee-haws! on occasion. Everything that doesn't sound like a polka (even the Elvis cover) is delivered in a wave-your-mug drinking song waltz-time. And might I direct your attention to the song that features our man playing the accordion and tap-dancing (!) at the same time. They don't make 'em like this any more.  (Or do they?  I suspect that this fellow might be the same guy.)

The FLYING DUTCHMAN - ONE-MAN BAND

SPACE-AGE SANTA

William Shatner! Theremins! Daleks! Annoying child singers!  Truly, this is what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown. 

If we must be subjected to Christmas music every year, at least let's make it bad/strange futuristic-y sci-fi songs. Space travel and Christmas - two things that have nothing to do with each other.  So why are there so many songs about both? Maybe cuz kids love 'em both. Or because Santa's reindeer routine was a wormhole-like traveling thru space/time? Or cuz everyone gets sick of "White Christmas" after a while? Regardless, here are 24 mainly '50s/'60s songs collected over the years, stuffed into one handy stocking:

SPACE-AGE SANTA
(Is this divshare business working?)
Space-Age Santa (Zippyshare)

These tunes are mostly off hopelessly obscure 45s, but I added artist info, if any

01 Hal Bradley Orch wPatty Marie Jay - SpaceAge Santa Claus
02 Zoot, Zoot, Zoot Here Comes Santa In His New Space Suit - Tiny Tim and Bruce Haack (as previously discussed)
03 Introduction-Hooray For Santa Claus - Miton DeLugg (from the badfilm classic "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians)
04 I Cloned Myself For Christmas - Neutron 606
05 Good King Wenceslas - Douglas Leedy (from a Buchla - not Moog - album from the late '60s that's all pretty cool, but this is the stand-out track.)
06 The Go Go's - I'm Gonna Spend My Christmas With A Dalek (No, not those Go-Gos, this was a '60s British studio "group.")
07 Outer Space Santa - Lawrence Welk's Little Band
08 Santa and the Satellite - another proto-mashup from Buchanan & Goodman
09 Northern Telecom - I Want An OC192 For Christmas 
10 moog cookbook - santa claus is coming to town (time-traveling to the '90s for this nutty instro)
11 Tim Dinkins - Santa's Rocket
12 Take A Ride On Santa's Rocket - The Sounds Extraordinare
13 Bobby Helms - Captain Santa Claus (Yep, the "Jingle Bell Rock" guy)
14 Lothars - Oh Holy Night (great contemporary theremin group)
15 barry gordon - Zoomah the Santa Claus from Mars
16 The Servotron Evaluation of the Christmas Season
17 Fountains of Wayne - I Want an Alien for Christmas (more actual not-old music! From their 2005 album "Out-Of-State Plates")
18 a sonovox (a kind of '40s vocoder) version of "rudolph"
19 troy hess - christmas on the moon (singing 6 year with thick hick accent - OUCH)
20 William Shatner - Good King Wenceslas (hearing all the verses, recited in Captain Kirk's ponderous delivery, reminds me that I have no idea what the hell this song is about)
21 Scene 1 Come Rejoicing-Its The Very Best Time of The Year-Make A Joyful Noise (from a kiddie xian xmas album I found in a thrift-shop called "Christmas 2001 A Space-Age Adventure"; I actually digitized the whole thing, but, believe me, you don't need to hear it)
22 Christmas in the Stars (from the infamous "Star Wars Christmas" album; I also have this one on vinyl - featuring a young Jon Bon Jovi! - but you REALLY don't need to hear the whole thing)
23 MIT computer 1962 carols
24 Space Age Santa Claus - Gus de Wert Trio (Incredibly, a cover of track #1)

Thanks to J-Unit 1!

Particle Man, Particle Man...

So what's the big deal about scientists claiming that they think they've found the Higgs boson particle? It was the missing piece of the Standard Model of physics, and now that it's been (hopefully) found, it means that our general understanding of how the universe works is correct.  So that's pretty awesome. Let's celebrate by listening to music made by taking the mathematics of it all and assigning each number a musical value. The result is a very peppy tune for piano, bass, marimba, percussion, and xylophone sounds.

I find it kind of hard to believe that a sub-atomic particle sounds like a lounge mambo, but, hey, I'm no physicist. (And if sub-atomic particles really do sound like lounge mambos, well then the universe is far more wonderful than I ever imagined.) It's not very long - only about 2-and-a-half minutes - but the boson is a pretty small particle.

Domenico Vicinanza: Higgs Boson Sonification

This is not the first time we've featured music from the CERN/Large Hadron Collider posse. Four years ago we wrote about the "Large Hadron Rap," and back in '06 we covered the first band on the web. Brooklyn? Austin? Feh!  The CERN scene is where it's happenin', baby.

(This is still the only music blog with a 'science' category, right?)

Country Music For Fat, Unpopular People

Meade Skelton is an outsider musician from Richmond, Virginia whose album  "They Can't Keep Me Down" mostly deals with his struggles with weight, and how no-one likes him, e.g.: "I Love To Eat (And It Shows)" and "It's Hard To Love Yourself (When Everybody Hates You)". He feels left out of the music world, loves mom and God, and doesn't like sleazy, degenerate rock 'n' rollers or too-cool hipsters (e.g.: the song "Proud To Be A Square").  His lightweight electric piano-driven songs lean towards the slick, commercial side of country music, and when he stays within his vocal range, he actually has an okay voice, tho hardly worthy of his own Elvis and Sinatra comparisons. Trouble is, he doesn't always stick to his range.

This album, so I'm told, is strongly influenced by Laura Branigan, of all people. Remember her, she did that "Gloria, I think they got your number" song?  Supposedly "Beautiful Lady" is a reworking of Branigan's "Solitaire," adding new lyrics about (of course) being fat and unwanted. 

There is some weak singing here and the songwriting occasionally gets terrible indeed, so it's easy to laugh at this guy, but there is also pathos in "They Called Me Porker," about the taunting he endured as a child. And some pretty smooth session musicians keep it all sounding almost respectable.

On "Songs of Love" he goes lounge - it's an album of mostly amateurish covers of standards, e.g.: "My Funny Valentine," but includes some originals, like the stalker-ish ode to actress Nicole Kidman, "Nicole, Will You Marry Me?" Wow, is this one a head-scratcher. Kidman may want to consider a restraining order. An unnerving yodel/voice-cracking vocal style pervades this album, and the stripped-down production reveals his uncertain piano playing. Oh, my ears! If "They Can't Keep Me Down" has you feeling sorry for the poor sap, "Songs of Love" will make you want to join the haters.

Skelton has gained somewhat of a reputation on the internets thru his relentless self-promotion, often going by other names, claiming on message boards to be a "fan" of Skelton with a "need for Meade!" when it's pretty obvious that it's Skelton himself. Some are annoyed by this behaviour, others amused. But that's what's great about him - he has unwavering faith in his talent, and maintains an upbeat attitude towards life. No whiney goth or sensitive singer-songwriter stuff for Meade - despite the unfortunate circumstances of his life, he keeps a grin on his face.

He has some albums that he's selling independently, and since they're in print, I'm only gonna take a couple/few songs apiece from these two abums (the only two of his that I have).

Mead Skelton Sampler

1. Beautiful Lady
2. What's So Great About Rock N' Roll?
3. Your Old Hay
4. Nicole, Will You Marry Me?
5. My Funny Valentine

Want to hear more? 'Course you do!  Preview his albums on iTunes. And join the Mead Skelton Fan Club while you're at it! 2215 Floyd Ave., Richmond, VA 23220; (804) 359-0219.

UPDATE 9/24/12: We heard from the man himself: Meade would like you to know that he has a new album, likes and is influenced by Laura Branigan but not on this particular album, and does not go around spamming boards under assumed names. So there. I stand corrected.

From one of his other albums, here's the "hit" single, "Hipsters Ruin Everything":

Classic Schlock: a Kitsch-Ass Rock'n'Roll mix

Musical artists are still trying to mix rock'n'roll with theater, classical and easy-listening musics - why?

Look at this playlist - no, your eyes are not deceiving you.  Dee Snider of metal legends Twisted Sister really does have a new album out of showtunes, Lemmy from Motorheard really is crooning with an orchestra, and, yes Virginia, there really are entire albums out there with names like "The Cocktail Tribute To Nirvana" and "Swingin' To Michael Jackson."

Some of this is done with humorous intent, e.g. Max Raabe's tongue-in-cheek Berlin cabaret remakes, and Timur and the Dime Museum's and The Scarring Party's opera/cabaret covers of Nine Inch Nails and Echo & The Bunnymen are actually pretty cool (that Timur dude sounds nuts.) But otherwise, ya gotta wonder: who (besides me and windy) are buying these albums?  Like all those string quartet albums - there's millions of 'em...

Classic Schlock: a Kitsch-Ass Rock'n'Roll mix

1 Cabaret - Dee Snider ["Dee Does Broadway"]
2 We Will Rock You - Max Raabe & Das Palast Orchestra
3 Rape Me - The String Quartet Tribute To Nirvana
4 Blowing In The Wind - Robin Morris ["Orchestral Rock"]
5 Pretty Vacant - London Punkharmonic Orchestra ["Symphony Of Destruction: Punk Goes Classical"]
6 Eve Of Destruction - Mike Batt & The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra feat. Lemmy Kilmister ["Philharmania - All Time Great Rock Hits Vol. 1"]
7 Come As You Are - Gringo Floyd ["The Cocktail Tribute To Nirvana"]
8 Closer - Timur and the Dime Museum ["Songs from the Operatic Underground"]
9 White Riot - London Punkharmonic Orchestra ["Symphony Of Destruction: Punk Goes Classical"]
10 I Get A Kick Out Of You - Dee Snider
11 Billie Jean - Vitamin Swing ["Swingin' To Michael Jackson: A Tribute"]
12 Killing Moon - The Scarring Party ["Woke Up With Fangs"]
13 Debaser - The String Quartet Tribute To Pixies
14 In My Life - Ozzy Osbourne ["Under Cover"]
15 Jealous Guy - Robin Morris ["Orchestral Rock"]

(Thanks to windy for the Robin Morris, and the Dee Snider tip.)

SAVAGE Exotica!!

This collection of '50s-'70s sultry, steamy, jungle moods taken from 45s or otherwise-non-exotic albums is all I feel like listening to lately - day after day of triple-digit heat (with a dash of humidity thrown into the cocktail) has us all wilting here in L.A.  Sitting by the ocean, Mai-Tai in hand, listening to this lovely music sounds really good right now.

You'll notice some big stars not known for exotica here, like Bo Diddley, The Ventures and Link Wray, all famed for their pre-surf guitar rockers; crooners Nat 'King' Cole, Sammy Davis Jr, and Frank Sinatra; and jazz divas Anita O'Day and Pearl Bailey. There's also plenty of hopelessly obscure regional acts who never made it past their local tiki bar. This isn't all Martin Denny-type cocktail lounge stuff, either - zippy ukulele instros ("Lover"), Jamaican rocksteady ("Angie La La"), goofy novelties ("Watusi Wedding," Tobi Rix) and at least three Hammond/pipe organ tracks are included here as well.  The common denominator is that it's all music designed to suggest, to quote from Sammy's percussion-charged version of Cole Porter's "Begin the Beguine," "...a night of tropical splendor...".

Most of this is recorded off my thrift-store vinyl, but thanks are in order to the late, great site Bellybongo for "Quiet Village '67" and the amusingly x-rated version of "Jungle Drums" and to toestubber.com for the radio ad.  "Tiki Hut" is an excerpt I made off of the "Teenage Diary" album posted by Otis Fodder's (who has a new blog) 365 Project, hosted by WFMU's "Beware of The Blog," from whence also comes the excerpt from "Seduction." And, of course, thanks to Bettie Page.

SAVAGE Exotica!! A MusicForManiacs Collection
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Alternate (zippyshare) link


1 Tiki Hut - "Teenage Diary"
2 Quiet Village '67 - Theophile & Bernard
3 Poinciana - Ethel Smith
4 An Occasional Man - Anita O'Day & Cal Tjader
5 Kiki -  Link Wray & The Wray Men
6 Caravan - The Nat King Cole Trio
7 Call Of The Jungle - Carl Stevens
8 Sassa Boumbit - Uele Kalabubu
9 Moon Over Manakoora - The Ventures
10 Seduction! (Act Two - Scene One) - Gregg Oliver and Lois Cooper
11 Jungle Drums - Sound Of X
12 My Shawl - Xavier Cugat-FrankSinatra
13 Brazil - George Wright
14 Haiti - Pearl Bailey
15 Wow - Russ Garcia
16 Islander - Kampus Kinsmen
17 Island of Lost Girls/Nice Girl radio ad
18 The Japanese Temple - Bobby Christian
19 Jungle Fever - Creed Taylor Orchestra
20 Accessory demo-Surfer Control - Concert Organ Co.
21 Lover - Perry Botkin
22 Angie La La - Nora Dean
24 Siboney - Desi Arnaz
25 Watusi Wedding - Hugo And Luigi
26 Bali Hai - Jesse Crawford
27 Uska dara  - Tobi Rix
28 Begin the Beguine - Sammy Davis, Jr.