Ahh...Outsider Music...

The George King/Joe Corney Space-Age Organ Sounds are back on-line.

The first thing many Americans think when they hear the phrase "folk music" is still the Joan Baez/Dylan types listlessly strumming acoustic guitars and singing protest songs in coffeehouses, none of which has much to do with actual American folk traditions. The excellent new compilation Turn Me Loose: Outsiders of Old-Time Music
features not only the weird 'n' wild obscurities you maniacs crave, but it also serves as a nice corrective to the '50s/'60s folk revival's rewriting of history. For one thing, acoustic guitars were not too common (almost no songs on this album feature them), banjos were originally a black instrument (derived from African instruments), silly humor was much more common then protest politics (e.g.: the wacked-out duo Mustard and Gravy), and plenty of "non-folk" instruments like the piano really were used in folk music, Charlie Tweedy's berserk stylings on the ivories being one of this albums' many highlights (which reminds me of Tom Lehrer's crack introducing his song "The Folk Song Army": since the piano isn't considered a folk instrument "imagine I'm playing an 88-string guitar.") Ernest Rodgers' Greek lesson "Mythological Blues" punctures holes in the notion that these were all dumb, uneducated hicks.

Most of these recordings, taken from old '78s, are by fairly professional if necessarily rough 'n' raw performers, but at least one character here, Willard Hodgin, is just flat-out nuts. To quote from compiler Frank Fairfield's extensive liner notes: "He recorded 18 sides (1927-1928) for various labels, which is quite an outstanding feat considering how unusual a performer he was. The combination of the occasional verse speckled in with his own unusual yet charming stanzas and his delirious haphazard banjo strumming make him one of the most unique performers to ever record." 18 songs?  Someone put out a complete Willard Hodgin album! (Clicky on song titles to take you to Divshare-land:)

Willard Hodgin: "Don't Get One Woman on Your Mind" Now with bonus offensive racist lyrics! 
But don't musical saws make everything better? Dig this barn dance earworm:
South Georgia Highballers: "Mister Johnson Turn Me Aloose"

Another great new comp recently purchased at my local record emporiums is "Enjoy The Experience: Homemade Records 1958-1992," a two-disc set plus 44 page booklet, all for only $15. Explore the wonderful world of private-press records! I was amused to see that the booklet featured reproductions of the covers of a couple albums I own, namely Mike Hudson and Wayne & Marin Foster. No tracks from them featured on this, but I included them on my own collection "I'll Take Las Vegas." This album goes way beyond Vegas-y lounge performers, tho, ranging from the already sorta-well known punk jazz of Gary Wilson and the middle-aged former Big Band singer-turned-hippie Arcesia, to such unknowns as the hip Christian behind this absurdly catchy upbeat bit of apocalyptic pop:

Ray Torsky: "666"

The booklet includes interviews with some of the performers the compilers were actually able to track down. The heartbreaking tale of Joe E.'s swindle at the hands of a fly-by-night record label is particularly memorable. Unfortunately nothing is known about one Vinny Roma, but he recorded what could be this blog's theme song.  Hell, it could be my (or your) life's theme song:

Vinny Roma: "Ahh...Music"

And if that's still not enough outsider music for you, Colchester, England's premier mental patient/transvestite/stoner/coprophiliac singer-songwriter has a new album out called
"Hippie Heaven" 
for your free downloading pleasure. It's like a 12" single more than an album, with the same songs appearing in slightly different forms throughout. Highlights inc the biting "Parasite Pest," and "Rock 'n' Roll Brothel" ("Why won't any of the girls have sex with me? It's quite frustrating...I could get a complex!") The backing track of "Lady Dub #1" could be by Martin Rev. And paging Yoko Ono! The final track is a 20 min field recording of wind.



   

BeerBottle Percussion, NewWave Music-Boxes, Avant-Catholic Masses

Last year's assortment of experimental/alt-classical/unclassifiably weird new releases received a succinct two-word comment from reader Outa-Spaceman: "Astonishing stuff!" Like last year's roundup, these are new(ish) commercial releases that are well worth your hard-earned dollars/francs/pounds/heads-of-cattle/etc., with album moods ranging from Carton Sonore's charming toy-pop and the krazy kovers of Hanna Peel and Misfit Toys, to chin-stroking Afro-tronica and new avant-chamber music; from modern-day high holy masses to Neon Lushell's creepy "No Religion" - we're covering a lot of territory. And when was the last time you heard music performed entirely on beer bottles? Prepare to be astonished!

Astonishing Stuff!

1. Paddy Steer - "A. Welson Senior II": reader Phil C. hepped me to this Mancunian cat with this description: "He's a crazy one man moog/ glockenspiel/drumkit band with a penchant for paper maché robot/creature heads. I saw him at a tiny little festival a couple of years ago (he was on after the band I was with) and it was the best and strangest thing I've ever seen. For the whole of his set I felt like I was having an acid flashback." One of the best albums I've heard in recent years.  Was very hard to pick representative tracks, they're all doubleplus good. Watch the vids on his label site!
2. Misfit Toys - "Alone Again Naturally": from the ridiculously entertaining debut album "Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is," a mad collection of '70s covers performed on banjo, bowed banjo (?!), marimba, oboe and clarinet, among others, radically reinventing Stevie Wonder, Chicago (as you may have guessed by the album title), Tony Orlando and Dawn, Black Sabbath, Talking Heads, the Gilbert O'Sullivan song featured here, and more. Transcends novelty, but still a must for any Maniacs' party.
3. Neon Lushell - "Black Confetti": I really liked these Midwesterners debut "Modern Purveyors of Filth and Degradation" and their new one (to be released Oct 8) is just as good - two-discs bulging with experimental ambient evil, as dark as goth or metal but without those genres' kitschy cliches.
4. Mammane Sani et son Orgue - "Bodo": hypnotic '70s Space-Age organ instrumentals from Niger, Africa; who knew such things existed?
5. Gunnelpumpers - "Bottley Functions": The six musicians of this Chicago-based avant/improv group perform here only on beer bottles. From their new one,"Montana Fix."
6. Gunnelpumpers - "Buffalo Jump": groovy percussion with three double-basses; that's like, what, 6 basses total? (boom-tish!)
7. Hannah Peel - "Electricity" - Peel's splendid 4 song EP "Rebox" performs '80s hits by Soft Cell, New Order, Cocteau Twins, and the song featured here, OMD, on sampled antique music box. May be corny as hell, but I love it.
8. Phil Kline - "John the Revelator - Sanctus": We reviewed this NYC composer's Christmas music for massed boom-boxes previously, and reader James C. recommended the Catholic inspired "John The Revelator;" the eclectic music sometimes doesn't immediately suggest a mass, tho it does get a bit Gregorian at times; quite lovely. 
9. Kurosounds - "Manège d'éléphants": Fantastic hypnogogic ambient soundscapes; looped delayed instruments echo rhythmically as dreamy sound effects drift in and out; owes as much to psychedelic dub as it does to  Minimalism. 
10. Bruce Cropley - "March Into April": This Aussie's excellent album "Modal Podal" is almost all instrumental, exploring a wide variety of styles that aren't necessarily all that weird; which makes it all the more unique - he's not afraid of risking his avant credentials by throwing some perfectly pleasant jazz fusion-type stuff in with the almost Zappa-like quirkiness; makes one realize how even "strange" "experimental" music can be predictably formulaic.
11. Bruce Cropley - "Modal Podal": Copley's is also the man behind the super-swell "Quirky Music" on-line radio station
12. Juan Blanco - "Musica para Danza": Was I surprised to find this album in my PO box - "Nuestra Tiempo" is a retrospective of Cuba's electronic music pioneer, Juan Blanco. Cuban electronica? As in, with those infectious Latin rhythms? Yes, on one almost 14 minute -long track. The rest of the album doesn't offer much mamboing, just tasty analog bloopiness, like this track from 1961, the very first piece of electronic music ever recorded in Cuba, available for the first time.
13. Tino Contreras - "Santo": Perhaps not as historically startling as the Blanco album, but "El Jazz Mexicano de Tino Contreras" is another worthy reexamination of an overlooked Latin American artist from decades past; this one unexpectedly veers from psych Afro-Latinisms to exotic international styles, to such oddities as numerous tracks from his groovy '60s a-Go-Go Catholic mass, like the track featured here that mashes up Latin (in the original sense of the word) chanting with Brubeck-esque cool jazz and sleazy electric organ. Que pasa?!
14. Paddy Steer - "Stun phlogiston"
15. Carton Sonore - "The Mexican Roads": The latest from France's adorable "naive music" toy-pop maestro.

CHRISTMAS IN JULY - SILLY 78S EDITION

Count Otto Black has been sending us an amazing smorgasbord of shellac lately, including these three seasonal numbers, just in time for these hot, humid months.  The Count sez: "here's a 78 which has to be the WORST seasonal release ever! It's a sermon rather than an actual song, which is a pity, because a song with a title like "Death May Be Your Christmas Gift" would undoubtedly have been covered by the Smiths, and/or possibly Joy Division. In fact, it's so depressing that I'd better add another Xmas 78 which is a little bit more seasonal...another of Spike Milligan's Goon Show spin-off 78s, "I'm Walking Backwards For Christmas". Spike, incidentally, is playing a regular minor Goon Show character called Webster Smogpule, and his pianist (Peter Sellers) is credited as "Reuben Croucher". Merry Christmas, everybody!

SILLY 78S - CHRISTMAS

1. Unknown Creepy Preacher - Death May Be Your Christmas Gift
2. Gayla Peevey - I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas
3. The Goons - I'm Walking Backwards For Christmas


(UPDATE 7/18: I think the preacher is Rev. A.W. Nix. )

L. Ron Hubbard & Friends "The Road To Freedom"

We interrupt our usual assortment of good music for this...this...well, it's a Scientology album, whaddya expect?  Following up on our "Joy of Creating" post: clunky amateurish lyrics, horribly dated '80s wimp-pop that makes Toto sound like the Ramones, vocals by b-list actors, brothers of celebrities, washed-up child stars, never-made-its, a children's chorus, and John Travolta...yep, it's another musical pep rally/indoctrination tool from America's wackiest cult, with a truly jaw-dropping vocal from El Ron himself. If you've never heard one of these Scientology albums, you should check one out, at least once (in fact, once is probably all you'll be able to take!) to really experience how far over the edge seemingly sensible people can go. As Travolta sings: "Reality is me, reality is you, yeah yeah yeah..."

Listen with horrified fascination here:

 

The Road To Freedom

 

All songs written by L. Ron Hubbard.

1. The Road To Freedom (w/Frank Stallone, Leif Garrett, John Travolta)

2. The Way To Happiness (w/Leif Garrett)

3. The Worried Being (w/failed soul singer Amanda Ambrose in a laughable approximation of funk)

4. The Evil Purpose (w/Frank Stallone)

5. Laugh A Little (the sound effects get disturbingly psychotic; I'm pretty sure that was not the intention)

6. The Good Go Free (Bang yer head! This one "rocks 'n' rolls" like John Tesh trying to go heavy metal.)

7. Why Worship Death? (jazz/prog with Chick Corea; Julia Migenes unleashes hair-raising operatic vox that will send animals scurrying)

8. Make It Go Right

9. The ARC Song (w/a straining John Travolta really trying to, y'know, emote; and Karen Black)

10. L'Envoi/Thank You For Listening (w/L. Ron Hubbard)

 

Much thanks to ma main Thetan Rich, from KillUglyRadio!

 

 

 

 

MAS & HOPE: Words and Music For the Now Generation

Imagine if the Shaggs wrote songs for a christian Mrs. Miller...

Some years ago, I posted a few choice cuts off this mind-boggling private-press release that my brother found in a thrift-store, writing:

"Love...Wider Than The Ocean" is a 1972 private pressing by Mas & Hope Kawashima, two Japanese-Americans who sing and play their own hymns on side one. This one's ["the Road of Life"] my fave, clunky rhymes over primitive piano...
Though perhaps not as charming as "The Road to Live," this tune ["Demonstrate, Demonstrate your Faith" - advice for the student protesters] is of interest for it's sheer ineptness: ham-fisted guitar, lyrics that don't scan - I literally cannot make either rhyme or reason out of this one.

Side two finds them massacring the classics - in Japanese.

Quothe the liner notes: "Following the trend of the current Jesus Movement, these new, original songs express the feelings of young people searching for something to believe in and to hope for. The words and music are written for the Now Generation with their concerns for love, pollution, ecology, war, racial tensions and frustrations of living in a technological age." 
 The address listed on the back cover: 666 (!?!) NW 4th Ave., Ontario, OR.

By request, I've recorded the whole thing, and side one really is wonderful - nine nutzoid tracks of female warbling, low (and I mean really low) fidelity guitar and/or piano music, and charmingly amateurish songwriting. Side two features a different (male) singer, is all in Japanese, and except for the swell "Ode To Joy," I don't recognize the songs.  I think they're mostly hymns.

Mas & Hope Kawashima - "Love...Wider Than The Ocean"

There is no info on the 'net about this album. Mas & Hope were married and were reverends working with Japanese-American churches, mainly in Northern California, but otherwise I could find no info about this or any other musical projects they might have had.

L. RON HUBBARD SPLURGES ALL OVER YOU

"Force yourself to smile and you’ll soon stop frowning.
Force yourself to laugh and you’ll soon find something to laugh about. Wax enthusiastic and you’ll very soon feel so. A being causes his own feelings. The greatest joy there is in life is creating. Splurge on it!"

If you don't have those words memorized, you will, after hearing them repeated over and over on this ghastly 2001 album released by the Church of Scientology, voiced by a semi-all-star team of singers. It sets the poems of the cult's late founder L. Ron Hubbard over crappy music that sounds way too dated to have been recorded only 12 years ago.  I genuinely figured this was from the mid-'90s at the latest. So what's it's all about, Alfie?

- We kick things off with an intro from soul legend Isaac Hayes, who unfortunately only has a couple of quick cameos on this album. Hearing Hayes' trademark baritone speaking voice trying to give this drivel a bit of gravitas is pretty great - as funny as his "South Park" work.
- Anyone who thinks joining Scientology will give your showbiz career a boost should ask "fresh new singer" Shannon Star Roberts, or L.J. Jackson - this album is their sole Discogs credit. One of Roberts' boring songs references Scientology mythology: "Theta, Theta, See You Later." Catchy, eh?
- Carl Anderson apparently was one of the original stars of "Jesus Christ Superstar" and had some pop hit in the '80s "that endeared him to soap-opera fans" (gee, wonder why I never heard of him?); one of his two songs here is a mindbogglingly awful 16-minutes long. Two minutes would be bad enough, but, holy hell, sixteen interminable minutes? He should be shot! Oh wait, he died of an illness a few years after this album. Never mind.
- I always respected Doug E. Fresh as a hip-hop pioneer who recorded the classic single "The Show"/"La Di Da Di." But one of the low-lights of this album is the appalling apocalypse fantasy "We're Going Up While The World Goes Down," which Fresh futilely tries to pump up into a wave-your-hands jam despite lyrics like:
"I was in a Safeway row
of housewives and no chow
Who said they'd been forsaken
by even moldy bacon
The manager's cruel cry
Was the actual why
They'd ate up all the animals
And now must turn to cannibals"
Apart from retarded grammar ("The manager's cruel cry Was the actual why"?!?) Hubbard's attitude of: you're-all-gonna-suffer-and-die-but-we-won't-ha-ha! is hideously immoral for someone claiming to be a spiritual leader. It reminds me of the Xian fundies' 'rapture' fetish. Needless to say, the generic music has gone thru the Scientology washing-machine, bleaching out any chance of black funkiness.
- Someone named Pamela Falcon has the thankless task of translating one of Hubbard's free-verse poems into music, to whit: "CUPIDITY/Cunning mind/Which unnerves the eye/Unclean lancet." Come on everybody, sing along!
- Another low-light: albino blues-rocker Edgar Winter is one of those well-known figures I'd never really had an opinion on one way or another. Well, I have one now: I fuckin' hate him! His "The Joy of Creating" begins with him saying "Y'all know about the joy of creation? Well, this is how we do it down in Texas." He then proceeds to insult the entire Lone Star State with hysterical gurglings that pass for singing over pseudo-enthusiastic music that has all the soul of John Tesh. I have a hard time having much respect for someone  who would allow this abortion to be released under his name, with his consent, while calling himself an artist.
- Chick Corea, the guy who contributes the only boring parts to otherwise-classic Miles Davis albums, drops by with under two minutes of pointless piano noodling and recitation.

A former Scientologist known on-line as Tiger Lily wrote on an ex-Scientologist message board: "At the time I was in, those albums were touted as being so theta-infused that just listening to them was supposed to key you out. They had the songs on their phone system "hold", and played them in the lobby over and over (how the staff stood that I'll never know).

I took that to heart and listened whenever I could. I lived 2 hours from the Org so I would listen to those *&^%$%# things for 4 hours on course days trying to internalize them. I memorized all the words. I sang along.

I remember thinking it was pretty cheesy , but they told us that Ron's music was way ahead of it's time, so I just decided I must be stuck in the 70's or something and made myself like it."

Listen to the "way ahead of it's time" music here:

The Golden Era Musicians and Friends "The Joy of Creating"

1	Isaac Hayes–	The Joy Of Creating Prelude	0:48
2	Shannon Star Roberts–	Theta, Theta, See You Later	3:22
3	Shannon Star Roberts–	From Sea Of Dreams	2:46
4	Carl Anderson and Brenda Eager * –	The Love Of A Man	3:58
5	Doug E. Fresh–	The Joy Of Creating	2:39
6	Doug E. Fresh–	We're Going Up While The World Goes Down	5:55
7	Howard McCrary and L.J. Jackson–	The Joy Of Creating	1:12
8	Pamela Falcon–	The Sum Of Man	5:40
9	Edgar Winter–	The Joy Of Creating	2:32
10	Edgar Winter–	Blue Endless Sea	3:55
11	Elena Roggero–	The Joy Of Creating	1:41
12	Elena Roggero–	Stamboul	3:38
13	Chick Corea–	The Joy Of Creating	1:46
14	Carl Anderson and Elena Roggero–	Song Of The Bard	16:58
15	Isaac Hayes–	Envoi                                                           00:32

SUNDAY MORNING SOUND COLLAGE

For a maniac's Easter morning...

The history of sampling the sounds of preachers is pretty much the history of sampling in general, as many of the most prominent names in sound collage, from the avant/electronic world to mashup/dance djs, have used 'em.  And considering the classic status of so many of these tunes, how can you blame them?  Passionate, loony, exciting, hilarious religious orators make for great (inadvertent) guest vocalists. The '80s industrial crowd, in particular, seemed particularly fond of this strategy. I remember reading (the L.A. Weekly, probably) around '87 or '88 that the sampling of preachers had officially become a cliche.  No way - we weren't even half-way there yet! Part 2 takes us up thru the Internet/mashup era. [Preacher's name, if known, included in brackets.]

SUNDAY MORNING SOUND COLLAGE 1

1 Steve Reich [Brother Walter] - It's Gonna Rain (Part II) [1965]
2 John Oswald [unknown preacher - R.W. Schambach maybe?] - Power [1975]
3 Brian Eno and David Byrne [Kathryn Kuhlman] - Into The Spirit Womb [1979]
4 Chris & Cosey [Dr Gene Scott] - Put Yourself In Los Angeles [1981]
5 Cabaret Voltaire [Dr Gene Scott] - Sluggin Fer Jesus (Part One) [1981]
6 Zoviet France [R.W. Schambach] - Ram [1984]
7 Adam Cornford and Daniel Crafts - Fundamentals [1985]
8 Tackhead - Mind At The End Of The Tether [1985]
9 Front 242 [R.W. Schambach] - Angst [1987]
10 Negativland [Rev. Estus Pirkle] - Christianity Is Stupid [1987]
11 John Adams/Edo De Waart: San Francisco Symphony Orchestra - Christian Zeal & Activity [composed in 1973/recorded 1987]

SUNDAY MORNING SOUND COLLAGE 2

1 Praga Khan [R.W. Schambach] - Injected with a Poison [1991]
2 KMFDM - We Must Awaken [1992]
3 The Tape-Beatles - Home Problems [1993]
4 Lecture on Nothing - Truckload Of Bibles [1997]
5 Reality Engine - Blame The Kingdom Of God [1999]
6 Escape Mechanism - Worship [c. 1999-2001]
7 Fatboy Slim [Reverend W. Leo Daniels] - Drop The Hate [2000]
8 The Evolution Control Committee [Elder Marshall Taylor] - Don't Miss the Great Snatch [2003]
9 Celebrity Murder Party [12 year old preacher Rev William Hudson, III] - God vs the Gays [2007]
10 dj lobsterdust [Pastor Gary Greenwald] - It's Fun To Smoke Dust (Queen vs. Satan)  [2009]
11 CutUpSound - God In a Linoleum Roll [recorded ?; released 2013]

I was amused to find out that two British acts, Chris & Cosey, and Cabaret Voltaire, both sampled L.A.'s infamous, frizzy-haired, cigar-chomping, foul-mouthed televangelist Dr Gene Scott. I wondered: how in the heck did they know about him?  Turns out that Werner Herzog, no less, made a documentary about Scott called "God's Angry Man" in 1981 that provided much yucks (and sample fodder) for those wacky industrialists:

Music of Mind Control

"Music of Mind Control is a podcast highlighting the wonderful world of organizations and religious cults that practice mind control techniques and the weird, awful music they produce. Hosted by Amy and The Commander."

Well, halleluyah!  Weird, awful music is right, as well as commentary by the hosts telling us just who these characters are, the significance of the particular track they're playing, and what they're in jail for. The three shows they've done so far feature many familiar kooks 'n' cult leaders that have been featured in these virtual pages over the years, but there's apparently plenty more out there that I did not know about. Got a particular kick out of Jan Crouch in episode three - she's an enormous-haired televangelist much smirked at by me and my friends when we were growing up. Was wondering what happened to her after hearing her hysterical track.  Internet sez: she's still alive, her and her husband have 13 mansions, a $100 million jet, a $100,000 house just for her dogs, and there have been the usual child sex abuse and marital scandals.  I am shocked - shocked I say!

BROWN-SKINNED MORMONS A-GO-GO!!

Lamanites? Is that what your kitchen counter is made of?  No, silly, Lamanites are the original inhabitants of North America, according to the Book of Mormon, and since Mexicans and Polynesians are brown people like the Indians, they must all be related!  Let's thrown them into the same category, make 'em wear Indian costumes, and sing cheery, cheezy, '70s variety show-type music! So someone thought at Utah's Brigham Young University, from whence this group comes.

Lots of fun stuff on this album that Our Man in Salt Lake City, windy, sent our way.  Just don't expect much in the way of ethnic authenticity. The low-budget lounge combo's instrumental backing and the singer's enthusiastic performances can get absurdly entertaining. I mean, check out the cat in the headdress to the left. That's gotta be the crooner swingin' his way thru "Navajo Baby." "The Mountains Cry Out," believe it or not, is practically surf music. And a song with a title like "The Big Mouth Frog" has got to be good, right? Right. Oddly, there's almost no overt religious content. Maybe they were hoping for a mainstream crossover a la The Osmonds.

 The Lamanite Generation

(Bless you, windy!)

Devil's Music: The Satanic Panic Paranoia of Pastor Gary Greenwald

Anyone who was around in the 1980s, esp. music fans, remembers well the 'Satanic Panic' that swept that era, at least in America (did this happen elsewhere?). Apart from ruining lives by claiming that perfectly innocent people were killing children on Satanic altars (despite that fact that not one corpse was ever found), crazy fundies also waged war against pop music, seeking hidden and not-so-hidden messages from the Evil One hisself. They analyzed lyrics and album covers, and played records backwards, claiming that 'subliminal messages' effected human behaviour.  I wish humans were that easy to manipulate.  We could put on backwards messages saying: "Don't murder. Don't wage war. Stop watching 'American Idol' and listening to crap music." And the world would be a better place.

Orange County, CA pastor Gary Greenwald got a lot of mileage out of this hysteria, selling the sermon/lecture tape presented here, as well as appearing on tv. A friend of mine back in my school days videotaped one such appearance, invited us all over to watch, and we had a regular Prince of Darkness par-teee. Oh! how we joked about it for ages.  Not only did it not scare me off pop music, I remember thinking that the clip he played from "Animals" was pretty cool. Pink Floyd sez: thanks for the free publicity, Pastor Greenwald!

You had to have a good imagination to find these allegedly hidden messages. They'd play something backwards that supposedly said "Worship Satan, kill yourself, don't vote for Reagan," but all it sounded like to me was "Wurp-nya glurp, wobwob, yob rulb." Towards the end of part 1 of the tape and the beginning of part 2 you'll hear what happens when they played some Christian records backwards!

Apart from the unexpected nostalgia blast this tape gave me, there was another eye-opening moment. I realized: hey, that's where DJ Loberdust got the sample for his classic mashup "It's Fun to Smoke Dust (Queen vs Satan)"! I maintain that it really sounds like the backwards Freddy Mercury is saying "It's HARD to smoke marijuana," not "It's fun..." But that of course, would turn it into an anti-drug song, ruining the pastor's point.

Pastor Gary Greenwald: Rock a Bye Bye Baby 1
Pastor Gary Greenwald: Rock a Bye Bye Baby 2

Part 2 gets cut off, but he's just yammering on about how eeeeevil Jim Morrison was.  Thanks again to windy - you are truly doing the lord's work.

OUTSIDER MUSIC VIDEO SHOW

British comic Mike Belgrave has an entertaining series of short videos about outsider and strange musics. Even if you know all about this stuff, they're worth watching for the presentation - he's quite enthusiastic, and throws in funny visuals. Stop what you're doing and feast your eyeballs on these, you'll love 'em. Episode one is the basic background, and mentions Wesley Willis, Irwin Chusid, and misguided sitar covers:

Episode Two: The Cramps play at a mental hospital

Episode Three: Xmas special

Episode Four: "the mainstream side of life"

Episode Five: buskers, and performers he's met

Thanks to RadioClash for the tip, and thanks (?) to VideoPate for sending this atrocity our way: an elderly Xian hippie/Santa Claus type in Ventura County, CA, in an amazingly slickly-produced video (where'd he get the money?) repeatedly asking "What's happening in the world today?" and, not getting an answer, keeps asking for five agonizing minutes. Catchy tune, and hey, dig those kazoo solos! John David Orvis is his name and apparently there's a whole album of his out there. 

But it doesn't get much better/worse then this bit of jaw-dropping horror, dumped on the world only last week.  I think the title of this song says it all: "Thank You, Facebook."

"I'm tagging you, you're tagging me, we're making history."

ECK! A MOUSE!

I think it's safe to say that, of all the thousands (millions?) of albums ever made, this is the only one of it's kind ever recorded.

From the late '70s comes this traditional bluegrass band singing most un-traditional lyrics about "Eck," which was apparently some kinda New Age offshoot of Hindu - songs like "The Sound Of The ECK" are nearly impenetrable to the uninitiated. Weird and funny as you might expect, but very well played if you're into bluegrass. Which I am not (sorry, Steve Martin), but the vocal harmonies on "River Of Light" totally rule, even as they sing things like: "Look to the light of the living Eck master, he will guide you." Probably wouldn't go over so well on "Hee Haw"...

Hindu Kush Mountain Boys Plus One
And - hey, guess what! - there's actually a new album in the works from these guys. Good karma to windy for sending us this one.

STRANGE INSTRUMENTS FOR JESUS

The Musical Betts were a husband-and-wife duo who played (mostly) instrumental versions of gospel songs on such instruments as cowbells, marimba, musical saw, slide guitar, and sleigh bells. And vibraharp, which I think is like a vibraphone. Really cool stuff, but alas I know nuthin' about 'em. I do know they had at least one other album besides this one cuz Otis Fodder and Dana Countryman posted a song off it for their Cool and Strange Music Magazine comp, included here as a bonus.
It's a bit odd hearing melodies played on instruments like cowbells performed not as Spike Jones-like comedic music, but in a stately, emotional manner. If Tom Waits has this album, I would not be surprised.

The Musical Betts

1. I'd Rather Have Jesus
2. The Lords Prayer
3. What A Friend We Have In Jesus
4. Rock of Ages
5. He Lifted Me
6. Ring The Bells of Heaven
7. Dwelling In Beulah Land
8. Near The Cross
9. Let The Lower Lights Be Burning
10. Jesus Loves Me
11. Church In The Wildwood
12. Just As I Am
13. BONUS TRACK: Grumblers

OUTSIDER MUSIC VIDEOS

Happy Friday! Here's a big ol' mess o' videos sent to us by their creator Halfcast Podcast. The music is by various hapless outsider unknowns, but I do recognize Dean Milan, whose ludicrous "Do It Like A Dog" was popular on WFMU's "Incorrect Music" show way back when. This is a different, er, "tune" by him. And there's a song-poem that was featured in the "Off The Charts" documentary. Otherwise, most of these artistes were featured on the old MP3.com. I fondly recall their "Worst of The Worst" feature, where I imagine many of these songs appeared.

The funny and well-done videos are mostly collages of found-film that nicely illustrate each song's bizarre subject matter. Thanks muchly, Halfcast Podcast!

"Get some haircuts on your kids! Teach 'em some decent music!"

(Vote for "M4M Idol"! You've got 'til Oct. 6.)

This nearly hour-long sermon starts off nicely enough, before we get to juicy quotes concerning: dirty stinkin' hippie beatniks! The Communist conspiracy! 15 minutes in we get to hatin' on The Beatles and rock music. "DIRTY FILTHY VILE ROCK FESTIVALS...are bent on destroying America." Hey, botanists! We learn about how rock music kills plants - it's been scientifically proven! He recites almost all the lyrics to "Back in the USSR" and "White Rabbit" ("Feed your head! Feed your head!"). He pronounces Bob Dylan's name "Bobby DIE-lin" and Phil Ochs "Phil Oh-cha," and screams about LSD. First time I've heard a preacher quoting Frank Zappa.

Communism did fall - clearly it was no match for Pastor Jack's awesomeness. Sound collagists/mashup producers...start your samplers!

sermon by Pastor Jack Hyles

His "Satan's music" page has lotsa good readin': "The Jonas Brothers—Satanic to the Core!!!," "Country Music Television (CMT) is of the Devil," and "Miley Cyrus' Supports Immoral Rights, Corrupts the Bible, and Works to Destroy America!"

(Long hair and sandals are evil? Isn't that how Jesus dressed? Damn hippie liberal...)

God bless windy for the tip.

GOINGS ON ABOUT THE WEB

Been a while since I've done one of these miscellaneous/random internet-stuff posts, but mucho cool stuff has hit my eyedrums and earballs lately, viz:

La Rainbow Toy Orchestra "Family Album" - this all-too-brief (12 minute) collection from Spain is performed entirely on toy instruments; unlike the pop/rock sounds of Pianosaurus (hey, anyone remember them?), these instros suggest a melancholy carnival - Nino Rota for the pre-school set. Utterly wonderful. Thanks to Katya Oddio for this, and if you're hankering for more (like I was), she also put together a free downloadable playlist of assorted toy piano goodness called "The Underappreciated Kinderklavier."

Frunt Room Series 2 - As I wrote last October, "...eccentric British humor and surreal storytelling mixed with sample-based experimental music...Members of long-time M4M faves Pilchard and The Who Boys are the humans behind these ongoing madcap misadventures of a robot-like couple...Musically, expect an entertaining mix of '60s e-z kitsch, modern beatz..." The second series has started, and this time they get into James Bond-like spy shenanigans, with appropriately John Barry(RIP)-like music. I really did LOL listening to these.

Captain Beefheart video jukebox - Well, isn't this handy: every Beefheart video available on the web playing one after the other; some great live stuff I hadn't seen before, e.g. killer versions of "Safe As Milk" stuff like "Electricity" (minus the theremin, but still rocks) recorded on Santa Monica Beach (what the hell were they doing there?); "I'm Gonna Booglarize You Baby" is hilarious - Beefheart looks like Meat Loaf (hmmm...Beef...Meat...wonder if anyone ever mixed those two up?); thanks to Sean T.

Sarah Palin Battle Hymn - This video ode to the conservative politician is, at first, hilarious - the emotionless performances, the nonsensical lyrics - but an incredibly strange, sad feeling slowly sinks in, and you might find yourself thinking "My god, this is pathetic." Buy the album! Or download the song from this rad blogger.

Crazy Christian Music - The always-lovely Radio Clash blog has posted a jaw-dropping assortment of Xian music videos - howzabout some kids trying to be cool rock 'n rollers while singing without irony a song called "Respect and Obey Authority"? '80s New Wave Xian ska? And oh so much more. In all senses of the word, unbelievable.

Science Songs - The polar opposite of all the above conservative Christian-ness is the science education songs of University of Washington research scientist Greg Crowther - it's edu-tainment! How can you not love songs with titles like "Hooray For NMR Spectroscopy!"? Answer: you can't. (And this will be on the test.)

Church of Scientology "The Road To Freedom" - From real science to Scientology: an entire 1986 album featuring the song stylings of, among others, John Travolta and Frank Stallone. Eleven tracks of slick, over-produced music backing bad celebrity vocals and Diaretic lyrics. Check out the song "The Worried Being," a gospel shouter with a kids chorus. Oh, won't someone think of the children?!? It's in streaming audio, so sorry, no download. But you don't really want to listen to this over and over...

The LDS On LSD

Windbag, a frequent contributor to this here web-log, hails from Salt Lake City in Utah, the seat of the Mormons aka The Church of Later-Day Saints (The LDS). Thanks to him, we have a plethora of Mormon-culture artifacts, such as:

"Sons of Provo," a hilarious mock-umentry film about Everclean, a Mormon boy band. The soundtrack is not only a spot-on parody of those psuedo-r'n'b teeny-bopper groups, but a gentle tweaking of the impossibly wholesome squeaky-clean image of the LDS. Jokes from the film like the band recruiting a new member from his job in the scrapbooking department of a crafts store might not seem too crazy, but this is a religion that traditionally has not allowed even a hint of rebellion or free expression. Anyone who leaves the church is sometimes shunned by family and friends, so any satire is a bit radical.

Everclean "Everclean" - "...like Listerine"
Everclean "Dang, Fetch, Oh My Heck" - How to swear in Mormon; quite a lot of musical diversity in this track

The Saliva Sisters, a female song-parody trio, would seem to have slightly more pointed spoofs of Mormonism, and the state of Utah in general, on their album "Delusions of Granger." But their "Spit Happens" album doesn't get specific - songs like this Led Zep parody could apply to department store-obsessed housewives anywhere:

The Saliva Sisters "Stairway To Nordstroms"

This brilliant acappella rendering of the theme to "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" has nothing to do with Mormon life (near as I can tell), but it is Halloween-appropriate:

The Saliva Sisters "Hitchcock" - These gals can sing, no?

So what is it that they're all satirizing? Brace yourself for a full album of...(dramatic sting) singing children!!

Songs For A Mormon Child - Delightful moppets shriek out hits like "I'm A Mormon," "I Want To Be A Mother" in which a little girl claims to want "...4, 5, 6 babies", and (gotta love this title) "Hey Everybody! It's Family Night!" You've been warned...

Thanks windy!

HUMAN MUSIC ANTHOLOGY

Our pals over at Pleonasm have done future anthropologists and historians (not to mention weird-ologists of all stripes) the great service of collecting hours worth of audio oddities that mainly seem to have been recorded off of that most democratic of mediums, YouTube. There are four volumes (so far) of free downloads, organized by theme.

Vol. 1 Tongues - Largely spoken-word babbling and acapella singing, from Christians filled with the Spirit, to space-alien prophets, to drunks caught on camera, to a very funny bit of acoustic heavy metal. Tho there's plenty of unaccompanied vocals just dying to be sampled (check track #6), there's also some smooth-jazz, and blues w/ Peruvian Pan Flute. The Talking Heads named one of their albums "Speaking in Tongues," but another of their titles could apply here: "Stop Making Sense."

Vol. 2 Left Fieldists - Outsider music bonanza! Featuring such hits as: "You Tube Guy Sings About Prostitute," "Developmentally Disabled Guy Sings In Stairwell," "Song About Drinking Robitussin," "Down Syndrome Poetry," and an Asperger's Syndrome guy singing about his "Asperger's Girl." It's not all laffs, tho: "Man Sings About Infidelity" is a cringe-worthy confessional, and the "Song For My Deceased Wife" is pretty heart-wrenching.

Vol. 3 Extra Credit Songs - You can get school credit for performing music?! Damn, kids got it too easy nowadays! I would have loved that. There's a wide range of skills here, from inept singing or rapping American history or science lessons over karaoke backing tracks, to pretty professional-sounding original songs. The hip-hop/r'n'b (complete with Autotune!) "Digestion Song" is hysterical. A+.

Vol. 4 Antediluvian Moderns - Apparently an assortment of old folks. Haven't heard this one yet.